directed by:
Lindley Farley written by: Lindley Farley genre: Comedy |
“32-minute comedy about two garbagemen who attempt to put on a ballet for the Sanitation Talent Contest. All they need is an oboe.” Don’t even try to convince me you don’t have the thirty-two minutes of free time required to check something like THAT out! C’mon, that’s gotta make you a little curious!
“Boss Of The Ballet” also has a tag on it that traces this short film back to 1990, while also achieving the movie magic of looking like it’s even older than that…probably the 70s era. It should also be noted that this updated, rescued, and restored version we’re watching here is the full version of “Boss Of Ballet,” so if you watched the short way back in the 90s and you feel like you’ve been missing out on some of the key details ever since, boy, have we got great news for you today! “It all started when I was eighteen,” says Gus as he recalls the sweet, sweet memories of his ballet heyday, when love was in the year. It doesn’t take long from there before his friend Jerry suggests that maybe, just maybe, they’d be able to get enough practice in to make it in time to perform at the sanitation talent show. You know the one, right? Don’t all sanitation departments have talent shows? I know I’ve always assumed they did. Sure, they might not be as well-known as the talent shows from the accounting departments, or maybe even the notaries that have long dominated the industry, but of course, the sanitation department knows how to create a real party of a talent show that is certain to knock the people’s socks off, don’t kid yourself! Comedies that are made like this are freakin’ fantastic. How could you not laugh? Absolutely nobody watching would have any idea if the cast involved is even in on the joke; that’s how dry it is, and it’s kind of amazing when you really consider how that works. The cast is only made up of three people, but it’s like Writer/Director Lindley Farley told each of them to take everything as seriously as they would if the film were a drama. So while we’re on the other side of the screen, watching the garbage men discuss the idea of reliving their long-lost dreams in a collaboration between an amateur dancer and an oboe player, I mean… call me crazy, but that’s just a gloriously funny concept to work with. The fact that there’s not a single obvious joke in the entirety of the whole film only made this experience that much better for me. Something like “Boss Of The Ballet” will have you longing for the days when you woke up at three o’clock in the morning and left the television on, only to find yourself absolutely engrossed in the true randomness of whatever was playing only seconds later. Like, it’d be far-fetched to assume that many folks would be out there directly seeking out a film with a plotline like this has, and I get that – but that was really the beauty of cable back in the day. You’d stumble upon stuff like “Boss Of The Ballet” that you might very well never have watched – ever – and now all of a sudden you’re fully hooked on the strangeness of it all, sitting right on the edge of your seat with a fresh bowl of popcorn. This isn’t my first rodeo with The Fez Belcher Show’s channel on YouTube (Remember when I reviewed “The Fez Belcher Show?), so rest assured, when I saw that name on the screen in front of me, I knew I was about to watch another unearthed gem I probably couldn’t even find anywhere else. Let’s give a bonus shout-out to The Fez Belcher Show today while we’re here for all their efforts and doin’ the Lord’s work, y’all! Is it absurd? I suppose that’s the main question we have to ask. I think the short and fair answer is YES – and isn’t that all the more reason to tune in? When Jerry realizes that his wife Irma has gotten rid of the precious oboe that he hadn’t been using for years, he hatches a plan with Gus to try and break into a neighbour’s place and STEAL one instead, because why buy another one, right? Or how about moments where Irma is so very, very close to figuring out that part of the plot, and encounters not just a small blood stain on the carpet, but a HUGE one. “How did this blood get on the rug?” she asks earnestly. “I cut myself shaving,” Jerry responds (which should appropriately induce a laugh right then and there as the blood stain in question is about a foot & a half in diameter and if he really lost that much blood, let’s be real, he’d be in the hospital. Yet what might be even more amazing is how little Irma seems to be concerned by his explanation and how much it actually seems to be plausible to her, so she just moves on. Incredible. I have absolutely no notes. Make no mistake, the police ARE on their way, though, because there has been a break-in nearby, so Irma wants to get the blood cleaned up before they come in and determine that maybe she keeps an unsightly home (again, that’s brilliant, absolutely no notes).
When the source of the bleeding is determined to be Gus’ leg, the audience is left to wonder if he’ll have enough time to heal up before the talent show – talk about suspense! It gets even more tense when the police finally do show up, but thankfully, quick-witted Jerry thinks to ask them to come back in ten minutes, and they just leave instead after offering eleven minutes in a counteroffer. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I love the Twilight Zone that my life has become. How do films like this ever get made, and who was ever the intended audience for them? I don’t know if I need an actual answer to that so much as I can’t help but feel a level of pure gratitude for whatever digital time capsule was opened to give us all the blessed opportunity to watch such cinematic genius! Are Gus and Jerry going to be able to pull off the oboe heist of the century? Or are they going to jail in less than eleven minutes? You’ll have to watch to find out – and yes indeed, you bet your ass, I’m going to recommend you do exactly that. So look…obviously, something like “Boss Of The Ballet” ain’t going to appeal to everyone – I understand that. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so far gone that I don’t understand that – I do. What I’m saying is, try stepping outside of your comfort zone for a second, and check out something you likely otherwise never would have, unless you were one of those lucky people who found themselves waking up on the couch right before the TV station signed off for the night and happened to catch this. You might actually be quite surprised at the final twists and turns this short film has to offer! Don’t go thinking that this team of Gus and Jerry are so locked in that nothing could ever get between them. Plus, you’ll really start to wonder if they’re ever going to circle back around to the starting points of the plot and the talent show concept they were working with at the very beginning. Lots of will-they, won’t they type stuff in here. I’m not going to be the guy to spoil this gem of a short film for you – but I will say this…do NOT turn this off before you’ve had a chance to listen to Jerry play, because…well…it goes about as well as I’m sure you thought it might, and you do NOT want to miss out on the man’s seriously stunning oboe chops! How does one even rate something like this, besides just telling you it’s awesome? I’m sure those of you who choose to watch “Boss Of The Ballet” will think I’ve fully lost my mind by saying that, and that’s okay! I’m not saying it’s deserving of an Oscar or that it should stop you from watching the next movie on your list with your beloved Timothée Chalamet…but I am telling you that if you want to check out something that is very far off the beaten path and probably unlike anything you’ve seen outside of a modern-day parody, that this will definitely check that box and scratch the itch of your curiosity at the same time. I’m going with a solid three and a half stars out of five here, because why not? I don’t know why I’d take any more points away, or give any more than I have…you have to experience it for yourself! |
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