directed by:
Branden Bierbaum written by: Branden Bierbaum genre: Horror |
Alright, lemme be crystal clear and shout this loud so that everyone in the back can hear me – IF YOU START YOUR CREDITS WITH THE OLD DRIVE-IN "LET'S ALL GO TO THE LOBBY" SONG, I WILL LOVE YOU. No joke, folks – that has always put me in a great mood. I am totally on board, and I haven't seen a single frame of the film yet! I'm happy. I went to the lobby and did indeed get myself some snacks (okay, a LOT of ''em). Ready, set, let's do this. Warning. Some spoilers ahead.
JJ's just got out of a five-year prison stint, and from the choices he makes, it's pretty clear he wants to go back. The dude's got bad decisions written all over his face, and it ain't all that long before he starts to act on 'em, setting up to get back into a life of crime. JJ (Tony Driscoll) puts up a bit of resistance at first, but you can see where this is headed – he needs the money, and it's hard to build a life post-incarceration. Plus, for anyone out there watching who is in the same situation, this is why you don't go back to instantly hanging out with the people who likely got you put in prison in the first place. It's easy to slide backwards into 'the life' if you don't put yourself in a different position to succeed…so we can really see that there's essentially no hope for JJ in that respect, and as watchers, we know it's just a matter of time before he gets back into some trouble. Vince (Eizonte Smith) is pretty optimistic he's got a 'job' that'll work out for JJ – as in, crimers be crimin' and all...and it seems like his great idea is to hit up a young mute woman in an apartment for all her vast riches. Okay – what? "Don't Open The Box" definitely makes it pretty clear that we're not in for some kind of mastermind Ocean's Eleven-style heist here, so much as a young gangsta's concept of what might help him buy groceries at the end of the week, you feel me? What I do love is the way that place is set up with a whole bunch of old-school movie posters plastered on the wall that definitely give you some insight into Branden's own inspirations as a director – you get to know him based on what you see in the first scenes where we're really introduced to 'the box' and why you probably don't wanna open it. Personally, I also love the fact that the box itself is super small but causes maximum carnage. Anyone looking at it, thieves included, would likely assume that it's got a trinket or two in it - maybe a keepsake of some kind - but probably NOT a creature that will shortly lead to your impending doom. Bierbaum wisely doesn't show us much and implies a whole lot. Allowing our minds to fill in the blanks about what the heck could be in the box and how it causes as much horror, mayhem, and destruction as it does in such a short amount of time. You're about halfway into "Don't Open The Box," and the bodies start stackin' up in a bare-ass apartment where it is very clear there ain't gonna be no riches, gems, or gold. It's like Vince might not be the criminal mastermind he's purported to be after all. We'd probably be smart to question Leia's (Tessa Torreano) choice of living situations and roommates, too – who just sleeps with a monster in a box right next to their bed? Branden's got the opportunity to tighten things up a bit in his craft and the way he moves things along. Take the drive that we go on toward the start of the film, for example. It's nearly two minutes of shooting scenery & wheelin' around and all that…drone footage & such…it plays like the introduction or title screens that you'd see leading INTO a film, not really while watching one, you feel me? The soundtrack is great, don't get me wrong – it's excellent music to cruise to, even if it's arguably a more west-coast-inspired vibe about New York City - but you get what I mean. It's a lot for what's required. The extended conversation about Pokemon. What can I say? It may be entertaining to some, I have no doubt about that, but the flipside of that coin is that it's not gonna be entirely relevant to everyone, most even. It's kind of like an updated version of a conversation you'd find from something in the Kevin Smith catalogue. It's a little on the derivative side of things, I guess, but Bierbaum can still take that as a compliment – I dig the dialogue and the way it flows, even if I don't think the subject matter is quite as universal as he might - especially for a horror movie.
While we're on that topic, though, the audio work in "Don't Open The Box" could also use a bit of fine-tuning. We've got a few scenes that are tougher to hear than others, songs and effects that are disproportionately louder than the rest of the scenes surrounding them, etc. It's never a good thing when you have to keep your hand on the volume button. There's still plenty of room to sharpen his skills in that regard, which is always worth the effort because any time we're focused on what we're hearing means, it's harder to focus on what we're actually seeing, you know what I mean? As far as the writing goes, for the most part, it's not bad, but I can also recognize that Bierbaum has opportunities to grow in that regard as well. Take a small character like Detective Hamilton, for example – a hothead officer that literally spits on JJ the first moment we meet him, yet about thirty seconds later, is nice enough to grab JJ water after delivering him some bad news. I'm not saying that's any kind of major detail that affects the storyline, but it is a tiny, somewhat noticeable inconsistency in a character that doesn't quite add up…and truthfully, it's paying attention to the smallest details that can be what truly separates the good from the great when it comes to the art of filmmaking. I did like his partner, though – Detective Rodriguez (a well-cast Gael Palen) has some excellent theories as to what's REALLY going on in "Don't Open The Box," & she might just be onto something. Sometimes, it's better not to question everything we see as watchers, but it can be hard to help when we encounter things that don't add up as they should – like, for instance, how effective those cleaning wipes really are. In my home, they might get a counter clean…maybe. In this film, they can clean up an entire murder scene! I'll put that one on me, though - maybe all this time I've only been buying the cheap shit, or don't have enough real-life experience with murderin' – both of these scenarios are highly probable. Leia makes the mistake of attempting to date THAT dude that sees an acoustic guitar & decides to start playing it – ladies, take note – if ever there was a time to open the freakin' box in life, good lord, that is definitely IT. Later on, when things start to get stabby…again… I also feel the need to point out that stabbing creates holes in what's being stabbed, yet no holes do we see. It's arguable that we start to experience a few in the plotline as well towards the end. Like, why does Leia make the choices she does, not just at the end, but at any point in the film? From her choices in dudes to pivotal parts of the storyline, we don't really get much of a backstory as to what the heck her deal really is…and a bit of a backstory could have definitely benefitted that character/pulled us into "Don't Open The Box" a whole lot more. Know what? I actually enjoyed this. Bierbaum gets things right in terms of tenor and tone. I also really enjoyed the first-person view of the creature. Even when we see it at the end, and it's…hmm… let's just say it's not going to be the most convincing thing you're ever gonna see onscreen…honestly, it's still kind of fun. I'm gonna be fair and meet "Don't Open The Box" in the middle, with two & a half stars out of five – there is a lot that's overlooked here, but I'd be lying to you by omission if I didn't say I was somehow still entertained and engaged the entire time. The ending worked well enough; the cast was pretty even all the way through, and the camera work was fine. It's a classic working formula with the goal of making a B-movie type of horror story, and in that respect, I think we have to acknowledge he's achieved that objective overall. |
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