directed by:
Cory DeMeyers written by: Adam Pasen, Sammy Horowitz genre: Horror, Comedy |
When it comes to the combination of Comedy and Horror, I usually brace myself as I’m clicking play. Too much of either one of those ingredients and the balance will feel as smooth as a car rolling down the street on square wheels. I don’t know what it is, if it’s my perspective, if it’s just having a different sense of humour, or if it’s that I tend to like my scary movies to be as intensely dark as they can possibly be, but yeah…I’ve always found the Comedy/Horror combo difficult to pull off successfully.
Having said that, when two fishermen at the start of “G(L)ORY DAYS” reel in what looks like about a two-inch fish after a decent battle, I’ll admit, this film got a genuine laugh out of me pretty quickly, and my confidence in what this could go on to become went up a few notches. As it continued, and we really started to get to know both the appropriately named Hulk and his retired cohort, Turtleneck, it definitely felt like justified confidence… You know, that feeling that there’s something interesting happening, even if we don’t know exactly what it is just yet. Even the concept itself is intriguing to think about if you ask me - stop me if you’ve already heard the one about the two slashers retiring to the cabin to spend their time fishing & shootin’ the shit. To think that there are people out there in the world that could be so dangerous & heinous for such a large portion of their life, only to chill out in their old age, is pretty wild. “Do you ever miss it?” Hulk asks Turtleneck. We all know what he means and what he’s referring to. This gruesome twosome is more than happy to relive the “G(L)ORY DAYS” and revisit their most awfully magnificent kills in their career from the comfort of their cabin, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get the occasional hankering for a little stabby-stabby, you feel me? We might not all be killers, but we still all function on a similar level as human beings…whatever you used to love doing, if you’re not doing it anymore, you’ll miss it. Soon enough, we’re essentially measuring d*cks along with the two former murderers as they tell the stories of their harshest kills in an effort to prove one is more superior than the other. “You really think you’re in the same league as me?” asks an increasingly animated Turtleneck. While us normies would likely assume a kill is a kill is a kill, to those that like to do their human-hunting, there’s a real craft and a code that clearly separates the good from the great, and it’s obvious that our friend Turtleneck is just a wee bit offended by the very notion that Hulk could be an equal calibre killer. If only there were some way they could settle this debate once and for all, right? Cue Heather (Sari Sanchez) and Lane (Missy Fierro), who probably couldn’t have shown up to the woods at a worse time. Or the best time, I suppose, depending on which side of the story you’re viewing this from. For real though…think about this scenario from the point of view of Hulk (Tait Fletcher) and Turtleneck (Guy Van Swearingen)…one moment you’re nostalgically reliving the past about what an awesome murderer you used to be, and the next you’re gifted with two pretty ladies alone in the forest. I mean, I know I’ve always been one to say that there will be signs that will direct you as to which way you’re supposed to be going in life, and it seems that theory applies just as much to murderers as it does to the rest of us. How could our two horrific protagonists not at least sharpen a blade or two in anticipation of the potential to come out of retirement for one last kill? Again, wouldn’t any of us jump at the chance to do something we used to love doing if we had the opportunity? Murderers - they’re just like us! They merely deal with more blood stains & order a heck of a lot more bleach from Amazon than the rest of us do, but other than that, same-same. The main question here is, are these two former killers still up to the task? Seems like doin’ some murderin’ might be a real tall ask of a couple of old fellas. Mild spoilers ahead. Of course, they do exactly what you’d expect them to do - they have a nap so they can recharge! You shouldn’t go stabbing on an empty stomach, nor should you be killing too many things without a proper night’s rest…that’s just age-old wisdom that has been around for a lot longer than I have. As they each awake from their slumber, the mayhem begins. It’s not just about simply making the best kill - it’s also about making sure that the other can’t. Sabotage ensues! Winning clean or winning dirty, it doesn’t matter; a win is a win, right? And don’t go thinking that just because a sheriff (Jett Jansen) shows up, that these two ladies are going to be safe all of a sudden. Have you ever seen a Horror movie before? When Johnny Law shows up, that’s usually a telltale sign that things will get a whole lot worse before they get any better. I dig the sheriff’s brash dialogue, though…armed with perfect delivery, he made me laugh. While it’s a…hmm…let’s say, limited role…the addition of the sheriff gets the blood flowing here.
Now, if I were to personally be the judge here, it’d be hard not to go with Hulk as the ultimate winner, because he’s got one of the best kills I’ve ever seen onscreen, full-stop. Complete with a severed head flying gracefully through the air, I don’t think his work should go unrecognized, and it’s clearly going to be tough for Turtleneck to beat. The standards are high, to say the least. With the two maniacs so hell-bent on destroying each other, there’s a legitimate chance for survival, but I probably wouldn’t bet on it. So let’s see here folks…what can I tell ya? I think this works extremely well! “G(L)ORY DAYS” is a LOT of fun. I don’t know that I’d go as far as to say it’s necessarily laugh-out-loud funny, but it’s almost like it has the rhythm and pulse of how a comedian watches another comedian and simply says, “that’s funny” when they tell a joke…but they mean it. This whole concept in “G(L)ORY DAYS” is highly amusing, and everyone involved seemed to be more than happy to be in on this gruesome joke. Writers Adam Pasen & Sammy Horowitz kept their focus on creating a comprehensive story, and Director Cory DeMeyers was the right person to bring this tale to life…err, death…umm…well, you get it. The point is that the whole team understood the mission, and pun certainly intended, they executed. I really enjoyed this short lil’ slasher film, and I’m more than confident just about anyone watching would feel the same way I do. It’ll help if you like Comedy and Horror combined, of course, but even if that’s not something you’re usually into, I think you’ll find that “G(L)ORY DAYS” is balanced in that precise way that makes everything click. Not only did I like the way that it started, but I also feel like I like how it ended just as much, and that’s definitely a rarity when it comes to Horror movies, from my perspective. It’s one thing to get the blood spilling & our pulses raising, but it’s another thing entirely to wrap things up in a complete and cohesive way that doesn’t feel like we’ve been cheated in the effort department somehow. “G(L)ORY DAYS” exceeds expectations in that regard…Pasen and Horowitz obviously know how to go about telling a full story, and in the context of a short film, it makes all the difference in the world when you don’t leave anything out. Like I was telling you from the get-go, it’s all about finding the right balance between Comedy & Horror, and I felt like “G(L)ORY DAYS” found the perfect gear to be in at all times. It’s got a legitimate story at the core of it all, it’s got the gore you wanna see and a sense of humour that suits it, and it gives us all the glorious opportunity to root for the bad guys for once. I’m going with four stars out of five for this one. I felt like “G(L)ORY DAYS” is a great reminder that you’re never too old to keep doing what you truly love. |
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