directed by:
Tracy Schott written by: Tracy Schott genre: Documentary |
Wild. There are so many things that we think we know about, yet really don’t have a clue. Take adoption for example – a subject that’s even run through my own family’s lineage. I assumed I knew most, if not all, of the reasons a child would be placed into the adoption process, whether it was general struggles or court-ordered interventions, you yourself likely know what we would all probably consider to be the main reasons that adoption occurs. Yet here I am, watching “Il Mio Posto a Tavola,” learning about the “Baby Scoop Era,” when unwed mothers were forced or coerced, usually by the church, into giving up their children for adoption, all within the first five minutes of this documentary. While it doesn’t list a specific timeline at first, you can somewhat take a rough guesstimate of when it would have occurred based on the age of Santo D. Marabella, who is the man we follow in this tale told by Writer/Director Tracy Schott.
If you look it up, you’ll find the “Baby Scoop Era” refers to the time from post WWII to 1972, and the statistics you see during its occurrence are staggering. So many children have had their entire lives altered as a result of unchecked power and policy pervading the society we live in. Seeing photographic evidence and firsthand accounts from the very nuns that were often in charge of overseeing the children…is really something to experience. To be crystal clear, I don’t have children myself, and I’m long past the point where I’d consider having them now, but I can certainly sympathize with stories like the one being told here. Imagine being essentially institutionalized at such a young age during the years you’ll most likely forget, and then being transported from one country to another like Santo was. Originally born in Italy, then adopted in America, he’ll tell you that his earliest childhood memory is being told he was adopted by the tragically young age of four. On the bright side, I suppose we can only process so much information at that age, and it’d be tough to understand how much circumstances like these would profoundly change the whole course of a life. On the sad side of things, what a scenario to have to reckon with at way too young of an age; I’m all for children having access to all the information they’d need to succeed in life and feel like exposure to knowledge can only ever be a good thing - but by the same token, I can acknowledge how helpless it would feel in learning this kind of stuff when there is precious little to nothing you can do about it at the age of four. While the nuns we meet in this film are as gracious & kind as you would assume they’d be, as they retell their stories to Santo, it’s also clear that there is still a major disconnect between the difference between not having a mother and father, versus having your mother and father coerced into giving their child up for adoption at a time of vulnerability. They clearly believe that the right things were done in order to give any of the children in their care the best opportunity to lead successful, happy, and healthy lives – and I’ll admit, seeing how well adjusted & down to earth someone like Santo is after all he would have been through, makes a good case for that. “I’ve spent my life practicing gratitude,” says Santo. What a beautiful perspective on life. He’s done an exceptional job of finding his way to professional success while dealing with so much behind the scenes. He starts to research his own adoption around the time he was nineteen from what you’ll learn in “Il Mio Posto a Tavola,” largely because he’s got this unshakeable feeling of abandonment and loneliness despite having grown up in a very loving household with the parents he came to knew as mom and dad. I think that’s one of the largest misconceptions about adoption/reconciliation – many people would just assume that it’s rampant unhappiness that would lead someone to want to find their birth parents, but more often than not, it’s simply born out of a natural curiosity to find out the roots of where someone originally came from…to get some answers, and perhaps even a little bit of needed catharsis & closure. Not everyone’s history and lineage tells the story we’d hope that it would, and as Santo examines his “alien file” from his early adopted life, he has to grapple with all kinds of tough information about his birth parents that isn’t exactly pleasant. It’s probably fair to say this was about as close to a setback as you’ll see Santo have onscreen, but his resilient spirit and positive perspective seem to be unbreakable. He should be incredibly proud of that, given all that he would have been through to still be here today. Some of the most amazing scenes you’ll see in this documentary have Santo reconnecting with family, and some of the most heartbreaking revolve around his attempts to track down others that he is related to. Seeing how hard it is to piece together the broken pieces of a life he’s never really known is practically gut-wrenching. You want Santo to find all the answers and people he’s been missing in his life, yet at the same time, we know he’s essentially up against impossible odds & real emotional turmoil. Hearing his niece’s reaction to their reconnection helps us understand why he’s willing to go through all he is in order to understand where he’s come from - it’s one of the most beautiful scenes in the film.
His sister is another fascinating person to talk to – Francesca reveals that at one point in time, it was believed that Santo was dead. Can you imagine hearing that? All because it was easier to say this and attempt to close the door permanently - all truly designed to suppress the pursuit of a reconnection. For Santo to eventually reconcile with his birth mother long after she’s passed, because he’s finally got the answers he’s been searching for in terms of the reasons as to why he was put into adoption…that’s a special moment in this film. He’s had to carry the weight of anger for so very long by this point in time, and to learn that there were circumstances beyond his mother’s control that basically started the whole process, visually helps Santo come to grips with why he was placed into adoption in the first place. It’s not the happiest of scenarios by any means, but it’s real, honest, and it gives him the closure/answers he has needed for so very long. “This is a lot to process,” he says…and he definitely ain’t wrong about that. Where “Il Mio Posto a Tavola” is stunningly successful is in the heart it displays. The yearning to not be alone and the importance of family/understanding the very DNA that contributes to who we are. We always hear about nature vs. nurture when it comes to our upbringing, and this film does an excellent job of making a case for both, really. Santo needs to find out the nature of his early life, but the nurture he received as a child plays such a significant role in shaping the man we see onscreen. Tracy did a great job in bringing you right over Santo’s shoulder as he searches for answers, making the camera almost like another character that was welcome in the room at all times. I also really liked how Tracy decided to include some factual information like statistics and whatnot, but not nearly so much that it would have threatened to slow down the pace of the film. Everything you see is another important piece of the puzzle and information that helps support the main part of the story; it’s tightly edited so that there is really no time wasted. I would understand if there are folks out there that would view “Il Mio Posto a Tavola” and feel like there are a few scenes here and there that run a bit long, like interviews and such, but I’d argue that those out there truly interested in the subject will appreciate how this all unfolds and how the information is presented to us. Santo came out just fine despite all his circumstances, and that gives an extra heartwarming layer to this film that it wouldn’t have been complete without. He found the place where he belongs at long last. Four stars out of five from me – this is a genuinely moving film. |
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